Becoming a confident mama feels like the golden ticket for most moms. We long to feel comfortable in our skin, to have conviction in our parenting choices, to not think twice about our body in a swimsuit when we are jumping in a pool with our kids, and to teach our children how to be confident too. Yet so many of us struggle to find our confidence.
That’s because confidence isn’t static; it comes and goes. Body image, other’s opinions, how our clothes fit one day, one uncertain parenting decision, one disagreement with our spouse, one missed deadline at work- they all have the ability to chip away at our confidence and leave us insecure. They are all drains on our proverbial cup that leave us feeling unsure and depleted.
Not only is this problematic for our own mental wellness, but for our kids’ mental wellness too. The reality is confident moms raise confident kids. So here are six ways to begin boosting confidence so everyone reaps the benefits.
- Challenge scarcity mindset– Scarcity mindset is the inaccurate belief that we don’t hae enough- enough time, enough money, enough of us. It’s important to challenge this so we don’t make decisions out of fear that there won’t be enough opportunities, or we aren’t good enough.
- Make yourself a priority too. Participating in true self-care is one of the best ways to boost our confidence. Not only does this give you the opportunity to fill your own cup (because no one feels confident when they are drained, resentful or overextended), but because it models for your kids that they can make themselves a priority as well.
- Change your inner narrative. Become aware of the bullshit stories you tell yourself so that you accept them and own them. This awareness also helps you decide if these stories serve you at this point in your life, and if they don’t seek to change them. This can take time, but there are small ways to create change here, such as using affirmations and mantras, celebrating wins, complimenting yourself, and practicing gratitude.
- Recognize confidence is fluid. Don’t label or define yourself by the bad days. Instead, attempt to let them pass by, and create the narrative that you are self-assured in who you are and your ability to move back to a confident baseline.
- Be your own reassurance. One major sign of insecurity is an increased need for validation from others. This can be indicative that you aren’t feeling confident in yourself and your choices. Attempt to utilize the energy you spend seeking approval from others, and use it instead providing your own reassurance.
- Stop comparing. Comparison is the thief of joy because while we build others up we are simultaneously knocking ourselves down. Remove comparison triggers (hello certain social media accounts) Use “and/both” in your thoughts as opposed to “either/or”. For example, instead of “either she will get it or I will” try “both of us can have this”. Instead of “I am succeeding or failing” try “I can be successful and struggle”. This allows room for the middle ground and reminds you there is enough goodness to go around.
Becoming a confident mama isn’t a distant hope but can truly be a reality. It isn’t easy work but it is important work, and there can be so many quick wins along the way.
Building confidence in motherhood is one of the primary things I address with my clients. Ready to increase your confidence as a mom? Submit your contact info we can hop on a free call to see if coaching is the right fit for you.